wordplayground

i came back to visit
(they call it coming home)
but all you could see
were the fragments i left behind
tiny pieces of myself,
pieces i forgot, but to you,
they're all that i am.
in the thirty seconds of your time,
i realized you had forgotten most of me,
and clung to little moments.
the years we spent together,
worked together, lived together,
the music, the parties, the jokes,
the smiles, the tears,
how could you forget?
you remembered the blood on the kitchen floor,
and in order to forgive your mom 
you had to hate me.
you remembered that i left,
and in order to forgive your dad
you had to hate me.
but part of you must remember
that there was so much more.
(i miss you)

i saw your indiana plates and forgot where i was for a moment. i think i even may have forgot who i was. indiana. throws me off guard. but i’m accepting this. i’ve seen a part of the world that you may have called home. but i look up at this never ending city and i remember where i am. i know who i am and you can’t take that away from me. hello world. i’ve come out of my shell. unprotected, i’m not even afraid. this is beautiful, being me. i may even call this home.

i was scared and alone
i wanted
a mommy to walk me through this
i cried, i screamed
i wanted
a mommy to hold my hand
i don’t have that
mom
where are you?
i want to be a child 
unaware
trusting even your angry words
i want to go back
and start over
i want to go home
a home to go back to
without fear
i walked across the street alone
i wanted
a mommy to hold my hand