lies
inhale like a first breath after holding in holding on to stale air for years and this this fresh air, at once you realize it's equally refreshing and dangerously addicting.
how are you? "okay" (afraid alone uncertain) what did you do today? "not much" (coped cried repressed)
when i was seven i crossed the entire pacific ocean on a piece of wood that i ripped from my grandfather's casket. i ended up in a land where i didn't recognize the people or understand the language. i survived on the kindness of strangers, who fed me food and lies. i was discovered by my family when i was fourteen and they spit the truth in my face. i couldn't handle it. i yearned for the foreign land where i was alone with my thoughts, the lies, and the memory of a grandfather. i tried to go back to the foreign land, but the strangers saw the truth in my eyes and would not feed me anymore. i returned to the family that despised me, they took me in out of obligation. i learned to fear and to hate and to love and to fend for myself. i learned that there really is no point, no meaning to it all. the best i could do was feed a needy stranger food and lies.
i was up in the skies yesterday, i saw beautiful rays of light and white clouds, but there was no heavenly throne and you were not there. someone is telling us lies.